I think if you have little boundaries growing up, you can go to one of two extremes-- no boundaries as an adult or major boundaries (sometimes even both) to compensate for the lack when growing up.

There was a lack of boundaries in my house. When I was about 16 my mom became addicted to the internet. Unfortunately, the computer was in my room. She stayed in my room all the time, and I had to go to sleep with her, five feet away from me, typing away. Sometimes she would be in there when I had friends over. I would have to fight her for my computer when I had schoolwork to type.

My mom would bug me to find out what I talked about in therapy. Since she was paying at the time, she would sometimes threaten to take away therapy if I didn't tell her what happened.

This caused me to develop both (extreme) strong and (extreme) weak boundaries as an adult. Depends who I am dealing with. In therapy, I have very strong boundaries. Part of that comes from being a therapist. so I was very cognizant (overly) to make sure I wasn't crossing any boundary-- I thought one phone call was crossing a boundary. I thought that expressing erotic feelings was crossing a boundary, even though obviously there was no behaviors-- just feelings.

When it comes to other stuff (mostly impulse related stuff) I don't have good boundaries-- not with myself. Before I was married, I had terrible boundaries with men but I think most of that stuff comes from trying to fill an emptiness. I still have loose boundaries with men, when it comes to flirting and stuff (when I see it's coming back to me). Part of that is because I have a very flirtatious personality, but I know that it comes out more than it should because of that lack of boundaries.