i did read about the dishes and the trash - yes, i could see myself in that. no one and i mean no one comes to our house. its just my husband and me - I - never could get that grammar thing right. i have been trying at times.
i have suffered from agoraphobia (for lack of a better word) to some degree in the past.

everywhere i go i feel like i am faking it.
i might leave my house only a few times a month. if i drive into a parking lot it is the oddest thing for me - looking to not hit other people or cars, trying to get the vehicle in correctly because it doesnt come naturally to me bc i havent done it regularly enough. using a debit card - even this i am not good with. i make mistakes and i try to play them off like i'm absent-minded.
one of the first times i ever put gas in my car in years and years - i didnt know what to do. all the technology had changed. i kept trying to figure out why the gas wouldnt come out. i looked at the picture of the lever and in my anxious state i had not interpreted it correctly. the cashier inside was looking at me like i was an idiot. finally i went inside and told him i was having trouble. "its on" he said. so i go back and finally figure it out. so simple, you'd think. i felt like a moron. things like that. being unsure how to do day-to-day transactions, not knowing my way around town, trying to remember all the traffic rules, "can i turn here - does that line mean two-way or one-way traffic?" and just moving about in a store like walmart - i am afraid that somehow people will see something odd in me, that i will make a faux paux and they will learn my secret. so many little things to know out there in the world. . .

going to the therapist was the only time i really left the house. if i was going to run an errand i did it during that time. my poor husband does everything - grocery shopping,errands, etc. its not fair to him.

but i get along okay. i didnt go in there and tell the therapist what a shut-in i was. maybe i should have.