*I think the problem with being confused about boundaries can happen because we're confused about what's "allowed". We think other people are allowed to state what they like/don't like but we're not?
*But, if we don't admit to ourselves how we feel or don't "like" how we feel (don't like that person, don't trust that person, etc.) then we break down at the point where we should be communicating.
*Your feelings are not a democracy! (HUH! )
*But boundaries are just stating (and then enforcing) your feelings! (another HUH!)
*Your JOB is to protect yourself from their attack. Their job is to protect themselves and they are "allowed" (HUH!!) to do it however they wish. So, someone saying, "I hate you, go away" is not being "rude" or "weird" or anything, they're saying, "YOU are over my boundary at this very moment, go away at this very moment". REALLY!? HUH!!
*The "correct" response is not arguing but going away.
*If you're underage, Kiya, your mother's boundary crossing is abuse, plain and simple. (I'm not... but I'm still told it is abusive by several t's... more like 9 professionals at this point. Long story as to why I am still here....)
*If you can't go away because you are a minor child, the adult needs to pay more attention. (I have child alters - this may be part of it.)
*I'm not saying an adult cannot get angry and express how they feel, that is not abuse, that is everyone's right; to let others they are in relation with know how they feel in that relationship but being "in your face" literally, is a power thing and boundary crossing. Huh!!!
*However, because other people cross our boundaries does not give us leave to cross theirs/other's.(This seems big) And if one is in an unequal relationship and there's boundary crossing; one merely figures out how to "get away" when one can. (other than dissociating and switching alters, I am guessing... ja?)
*I don't think boundaries are a one-time clear thing! (Agreed)
*Our #1 job is to take care of ourselves so "rude" doesn't really matter. (wow! Really?!?! Serious??? I really have to work on this).
*"Hey, can you please not stand so close, I'm far sighted and can't see you well when you're that close" ;-) (Love it!! - Need to remember this)
*One shouldn't automatically decide another person is "teasing" with boundaries but ask a few times to make sure. (True. I only get into problems with this at home with mom. With everyone else, I automatically assume they are right, their boundaries matter more than mine -unless I am having a panic attack...)
*how are you supposed to know if you have crossed another person's boundaries if they don't tell you? AND, how is another person supposed to know if you don't tell them! (Yep - I really do believe that!!! Some how tho, it doesn't work in my favor with mom.... grrr.)