I spoke to Nick on Saturday and he said he's going to talk to Charlene, the girl that keeps getting involved and being nasty when, in fact it's absolutely nothing to do with her! And we had a good chat about how things have changed for me recently and how my realisation of 'If I wasn't supposed to live then why would I have been born?' was such a revalation to me and he was really happy to see that I'd changed how I see things now and he said that not only is he, and my friend Sky, and you and many others very proud of me, but i am proud of myself and he said that he loved seeing me so proud of myself and so happy..

I have spoken to a connexions worker here at the college to see if she can help me at all with this work, ro get my teacher to give me a littl extra help. the essay has got to be 2,000 words! Panic, panic, panic!!!! I guess I've just got to sit at the computer and rack my brains for every bit of information that I can find.

I'm so weak today and i just don't know why.. My sleep has been restless, I'll admit that, but at least I've had some sleep. My legs can barely carry me and my neck's weak and I feel like sych a ragdoll!

Connor commented this morning on how dead I looked. I knew that already, thanks Connor! I feel dead too, to be perfectly honest, I can feel myself going bakc to the beginnings of my depression, when I cried every day and every night. It's happening all over again. I guess it just goes to show that my meds really aren't working at all..

I just hope my doctor changes them again to make sure I get the right meds..