i'm sorry you are feeling so conflicted.  these types of decisions are difficult to make especially when children are involved too. why not talk with your psychiatrist (pdoc) about this and get his input? i hope that helps you decide what you need to do for yourself.
and good for you for wanting to get better. that's the first part of healing yourself! 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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