so... apparently i needed to sign a contract for a year to secure a place in a flat (fairly standard). i haven't signed it yet (flatmate hasn't given it to me) but verbal contract / assent is probably binding and it really is too much of a hassle to move...

one flatmate is okay. socially awkward and kinda weird... keeps kosher which makes things a little socially difficult, too. and doesn't really drink in a place where the main way of relating to people is in the bar.

other flatmate is turning out to be a bit of a loose unit... her best friend was having some trouble with her boyfriend ditching her shortly after i arrived. there was a group of people and initially i seemed to be accepted into that group and they seemed to like me fine. best friend... would do things like talk to her ex on the phone whenever he needed to talk to someone. she would end up feeling really upset after those phone calls. most were saying that she needed to stop doing that. flatmate was like 'i support her in everything she says and does because my friendship is unconditional and i don't want her to feel like she can't talk to me after one of those phone calls'. that seemed to be the best way she could support her best friend.

best friend decided to shut me out of the social circle. stopped inviting me to things. flatmate would hang out with me when best friend had other things to do, but not really otherwise. hurt... but i came to accept it. i guess i don't fit in so well with them. i'm not into spending a lot of time or thought on clothes and make up and i'm not into *****ing about people who aren't present and i'm not into the devisive and dramatic way these people have of expressing friendship and just generally relating to people...

last night i was woken at three in the morning by a loud argument. went out to see what was going on and flatmate was lying on her ex boyfriend preventing him leaving. earlier in the day we had a brief conversation where she said that they couldn't go on ignoring each other and things either needed to get better or worse but things needed to change. so... she was going to try and talk to him (they had been ignoring each other since the break up). i was like 'hey! enough already lets call it a night people' and they got up. and he was like 'i'm trying to go' and i was like 'come on emily' trying to direct her away and she alerted her hostile response in my direction. so i was like 'i'll call the cops' and then he was like 'yeah, i'll call the cops and started to phone them' so i left them to it (she is big and strong but he is a pretty big guy, too, and i think she surprised him more than anything).

i locked myself in my room... shook for a few hours... had a lot of violence (or threat of it) and angry hostile arguments when i was a kid and there wasn't anything i could do... had a flatmate for 2 years when i was around 16 and she started arguing a lot with her boyfriend. i moved out for related reasons and he ended up breaking the door down one day and shooting the both of them dead.

i'm fed up. about once a week every month (related to pay day) she sits in her room and constantly smokes mj stinking the house out. she shuts me out of things making it clear she isn't a friend (e.g., thanksgiving where i didn't even get an invite to a graduate student pot luck). she seeks my advice and friendship when it suits her and is dismissive when she gets what she perceives to be a 'better offer'. violence is not okay and i will not tolerate it.

i phoned someone to try and get best friends number so i could tell best friend to maybe check on her this morning... the person i phoned said that they both got a call and turned up last night (gee, thanks for checking on me people - admittedly she seemed sheepish and said we should catch up tomorrow). apparently she was upfront about having punched him in the head a number of times. he did call the cops. they turned up. he said to just note the incident and no charges will be laid. at least i don't have to put in an appearance to testify in court.

****!!!

no wonder i'm sick to death of this place...