Tonight, finally, there will be a memorial service for Bonnie (my friend who committed suicide). It's been over 3 weeks since she passed away. It's been hard being in this holding pattern just waiting to say goodbye. I will be relieved to close that chapter and move on to the next one. I'll always remember Bonnie but I need to make sure that my life moves along and doesn't get caught up in all the loss there has been in the last 3 1/2 weeks.

I wasn't really going to participate in Christmas this year but I changed my mind. I ordered all my gifts online to save myself the hassle of going to the post office. It feels good to give. And I'm listening to Christmas music while I clean up the house. I want to send out some Christmas cards but I don't know that I'll get around to that or not. I'm not really feeling christmasy at all, but just putting in the effort is helping.

I wish this depression would just melt away like the snow that covers the outdoors. But I think the snow is here for a while and so is the depression.