This is heart breaking when families do this. But I think I would have to look at it like this: youre on a journey and theres an abyss you need to cross. You see 2 bridges. The toll bridge is new and reliable and will cost you. But the old brigde is familiar and free but is a weak structure. Your family wants to go the free way over the dysfunctional bridge but you need to use the new reliable crossing. Let them go the old way, its familiar and free. You pay the toll- but who is more likely to make it across? Some people have to break away to save themselves and it hurts.