Thanks guys. Been discussing things by email and I think things have sorted out okay. She said she understands about the violence and promises it will never happens again and really does seem very genuine in her apology about that. She is going to try and smoke less, and take some of it to the porch (where air flow will prevent it building up and circulating inside). The hardest thing... Took some really very careful words... Quite delicate... She said that she didn't mean to hurt me or to shut me out and that she does consider me a friend and will work on being a better one to me.

So... Phew. The latter thing in particular turned out to be quite tricky... I said that I felt that they spoke negatively about me behind my back... That I prefer to spend time with people who behave friendly towards me (and how not inviting me to thanksgiving wasn't friendly and coming from people who I thought were friends hurt my feelings). And it was basically... Accepted. We will see, of course.. I think she might respect a person with healthy boundaries (not having much experience with that in her life) and maybe is learning to come to respect the absence of negativity / judgement... Perhaps... I feel exhausted. This kinda stuff is so hard for me... Just gonna sleep and sleep and sleep...