Hi I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone, I too suffer from BPD and I was diagnosed 3 years ago but have suffered for years. But I have a great T and have been working with him for 3 years now. I have come to trust him slowly after a long testing period.
But I SI and suffer with daily suicide idealtion and sometimes it can be overwhelming.
I deal with severe black and white thinking and people are either in the good room or bad room as my T puts it and he is trying to help me create a mistake room but that is HARD work.
I have NO gray area of my life...it is a hard life to lead but before being diagnosed I thought I was CRAZY but at least now I know what it is and that in a weird way has given me alittle bit of peace. But I still have my good days and BAD days. Dont get me wrong.
Toda y is a day full of anxiety ............I HATE anxiety....ugh...sometimes I do not want to live like this ....well take care and know your not alone