Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
Hmmmm, sex talk can do that to ya sometimes. Brings up all sorts of stuff. Or could it be you have ADHD? 
I want to add that my fling with the Greek sea captain was before marriage. I never cheated on my H.
I was pretty pissed off indeed. We were on vacation and already not sleeping together. But I went into his bedroom and told him I didn't like how he had told the girls that story (he had given yuck details), that I had shared that with him in confidence and it wasn't OK to repeat it to anybody, especially not our girls. He was not happy I was so adamant about this, as any dissent or criticism from me was not tolerated in our marriage, but hey, when you have decided to get divorced, you can speak your mind a bit more. The yucky thing was, when I was telling him this, he was acting like it was no big deal, like why are you getting so upset about this? He had his back to me and could hardly give me the time of day. He just sat there watching porn on his laptop. Nice way to spend the time while on vacation with his family, no?
It's a mystery to me too. I think he has no sense of what is appropriate, but also, I think that is a way to try to humiliate the spouse and communicate to the child how you have the upper hand in the relationship. Kind of a one upsmanship, whereas it just hurts the child. It's basically very self-centered: "me first, me first." Sorry you had to experience that, Simcha. |
I think your husband knew damn well what he was doing. His "what's the big deal" schtick is full of holes like swiss cheese.
They always know what they are doing. The watching porn on his laptop while discussing this with you is really just icing on the cake, and solidifies the fact even more that your H is the one who messed up in this situation, NOT you.
Really good points about the one-upmanship. It does actually sound like something my father would do (he actually is jealous over my mother's college degrees). He is a very jealous and bitter man, and I wish I could say that my mother was much better but...
We all have our secrets. Sexual stories are NEVER okay to share with your children, even when they are grown up. Sex is private. It's between two people and those two people only. I never was one to kiss and tell (so to speak), as there is a reason it's done in private and not in public.
Damn... I want to kick your H's shins now.
Good thing he is X-H.
Oh yeah... it's the ADHD and the private discussion over sexual matters with T that are both huge derailers...
I never knew how mad this stuff could make me. Just a reminder I guess that parents don't always do the right thing, nor know what is best for their child.
Your H needs intensive therapy biweeky.