i understand what you guys are saying and thank you very much. i did try to talk to mom but she always puts my niece on the phone. at first the letter i wrote was for my sister and my niece but then it turn out to be for my niece because she is like me where no one cares or wants to listen and i thought since she understand she would listen and care. but i guess i was wrong. my mom was the one talking throw my niece making my niece talk for her. she done that before on me. my mom and i were talking then she gets me niece to talk for her. my niece is all fk up and my mom does this. i am not mad at my sister because the way our mom treats us or my niece for that. i am mad at my niece for talking to me that way and laughing and i am really mad at my mom and my sister for somethings. i do love them and i am sorry for what i said but you are right i should not be sorry for expressing how i feel. you are right i have the right too. they hurt me and they hurt my kids. but you are right i have to make my own new life with my kids and forget them. maybe one day they will come around and i hope not too late. thank you again.