I have been with my husband for 6 years, 2 married. We have a beautiful daughter. We have a great relationship all around most of the time. We have always joked about bringing another women home. About a month ago, we did, with my best friend - which I am totally fine with. We talked about it, everyone was game, and I have no issues with that.

He shares a very small office space with a cute, young gal. They were becomming very friendly with texting, myspace, he always had some story about her when he got home from work. This drove me crazy and I told him that. I tried being, what he called, controlling telling him that I didn't like the little relationship that they had going on, stop texting, stop talking to her about personal things, no more myspace, etc. He was very upset because he considered her a friend (which he doesn't have many of) and didn't understand why I couldn't just trust him. "He loves me very much and would never want anything other then what he has." This past weekend he tricked me into going out with her because he knew that once I got to know her that I would realize there was nothing to worry about and her and I would end up being good friends. Of course, her and I had a GREAT time out and ended up joining my husband in bed after drinking way too much. The night was extreamly crazy and no "corner" was left unturned. It was a fun and crazy night. Now I'm terribly regreatful and mad at myself for letting something like that happen. Now I'm even more worried then ever about them two and what relationship between them will follow. And I'm not worried about a sexual relationship because I really don't think he would do that without me...I don't like thinking about the emotional relationship.. I feel like he's constantly texting her, myspacing her, etc now more then ever. He does usually tell me what they are talking about but I just want it to STOP. He tells me I'm insecure and have nothing to worry about; he just likes teasing her, etc.

Why did I do this? Is there some kind of disorder that I have? I'm not a lesbian but do enjoy kissing women. I can't believe that I've watched my husband have sex with two other women in the past month and even encouraged it. Yes, I encouraged it. And watched it. I was not regreatful about the first time but this time is driving me crazy knowing that he spends all day everyday with her at work. It's almost like I want him to have everything he desires and since we have always joked about having a threesome, I'm doing it for him. But, I enjoy it in the moment.

I really don't want to go to see anyone about this issue and am hoping that someone on here has some good words of advice or has sort of been where I am at. How do I get over this and why did I do this???

By the way, I really am not crazy....I'm the girl who is your neighbor that NO BODY would ever expect this lifestyle from...

Why did I do this...with a girl who I already had a complex about in regards to my husbands relationship with. If i wouldn't have brought her home I wouldn't have had another thought in my mind that they were just friends.

I'm glad I found this website and hope someone can give me some words of advice.