This is seriously the worst I've ever felt. I really wish I could just curl in a corner and die, because I don't feel like anything will ever get better.

I'm useless at school. I Study for tests only to consistently fail and do poorly. I had an astronomy portfolio that I worked for days on. I put my heart into it, only to get it back and find that I failed it because I forgot to include the sources on one of my items. I had to leave the room because i started crying over how disappointed I was. My parents pressure me and yell at me because my grades are atrocious, but I don't know how to improve them.

Every year I start school thinking, "It's a brand new start, this year I'll do great!" but every year my GPA just falls lower and lower. I'm lazy, unmotivated, and stupid. I'll probably end up working at my low-paying dead end job for the rest of my life. I Can't even manage a promotion there, even though I work my *** off and am so helpful and nice to customers, it's almost disgusting.

I Don't even have anyone to talk to any more, since I lost my grandmother recently. She was the only person who ever made me feel good about myself.

I wish, just once, my efforts were met with success. I Wish that when I studied hard for an exam or a test, I actually did well. Instead of feeling confident, then having that confidence smashed to pieces when I get the test back with another failure to add to my ever-expanding collection. I wish I woke up one day happy to me, instead of waking up wishing I was someone else. I'm a pathetic human being and I'm pretty sure I'll stay that way for the rest of my life.

I miss my grandmother so much and I wish she were here to tell me everything would be alright....