Also I think as far as forgiving- it is the right and option of the abused or victimized to decide wether or not to extend that charity- BUT first it must be allowed to be recognized, the victim must be allowed to voice protest or fear or sorrow and loss and then with recognition that the hurt was real (recognition for sources that dont have to include the offender) comes the recognition also that we have an option of forgiving or excusing.
That is our human right . Whats traumatic about trauma is the lack of any meaning and confirmation by our fellows in society.