kim_johnson:
how do you envisage their conversations going when they are talking about you?
I know they see each other in the halls when passing and ask specific questions; "How do I help kiya get through her panic attacks?" "How can I work with her when she cannot be touched?" "Can you please work with Kiya about sleeping better?"

Are they talking kindly or not? Yes
Are they understanding where you are coming from or not? ummm i guess yeah...
Would you feel better if you could be a fly on the wall or not? Absolutely because then I would know in real time and not find out about it later "Kiya I talked to Dr_______ today about your panic attack, can you tell me more?" *Stomach hits the ground at 75 MPH*

Did your parents used to talk about you when you weren't around but you found out later? yes - see below
How about other people in your life? yes -see below
Teachers? see below

This is copied in from one of my other posts (a refresher for some *sigh*) a letter I sent to T explaining why i HATE having her and others talk about me.

"Still I don't think I have adequately explained how big an issue it is to me to have others discuss me - I'm trying....
-that is one of the first things i was taught as a kid - don't talk about others if they are not present.
-mom always told dad everything, then i usually got severly spanked and grounded for it.
-dad always told mom and grandma everything and had them police me on my groundings - grandma took it upon herself to be my personal Gestapo
-dad always used family, friends, relatives, neighbors, church goers, boy friends, dr's and other people in the community to get info about me and use it against me.
-dad called my teachers all the way from grade school through high school, even got me in trouble several times with my teachers for it, even called camps i was at, called a traveling group i was in for a year (came in 2nd of "Parents who call the most" in a cast of 150 students), was even going to call my college professors -so i refused to give him any names!!!!
- dad ALWAYS knew what I was going to do or try to do before I could do it - often even before I thought of it, or the fricking day i thought of it, even when i didn't live in the same god-dammed State.
-dad would then take on whatever i did and make it his own or an "us thing" until i gave it up.
-dad was my "planner" and made my schedule, my life, my apnts, told me who to see, where and when to go.
-dad made himself my vocal coach, stage coach, life coach... said he was going to be my manager in my performance life on the road.
-now mom, i can't go anywhere without telling her where i am going, when i will be back, who it will be with, and what i will be doing. i have to call if i am not back when i say i will be (i'm 31!!).
-if mom forgets where i have gone (for the umpteenth time) she will call to find out if i am still alive or dead on the side of the road somewhere. now days, when i come home and she says "Is that you?" I say "NO!" "Are you alive?" (when calling)... "nope, Jim, I'm dead".
-Dad even found the Girl Scout camp that i worked at online (that's not supposed to be online for safety reasons) and told me he was coming to visit me. He didn't ask - he just stated. Thankfully, he didn't come. Which is good because I told the Camp Dir. to not let him in if he did. Heh. But he was lawless - he was a law unto himself. "