....at 3:15 AM. I have to wake up in four hours for work. Thursdays are weird. I only work for four hours-- so that means I do four sessions (if everyone shows up). Then I go to a session with T. Then I drive to another office of the same agency and go for a marriage therapy session. By that time, it feels like the day has been one long, continuous therapy session.

But anyway, I just finished making T two mix CDs. The process of making them made me sad, and made me smile. The first CD is made up of some of not only what I know are some of my dad's favorite songs-- but I can practically hear him playing the drums along with those songs.

My dad was a drummer. He played in a band in the late 50s, early 60s. Finally, sometime in the 90s, he bought himself a drumset-- he had sold the original one-- and would play along to his favorite music. He could play along to basically anything. He couldn't read one note of music, knew nothing about music theory, but was an amazing drummer... and I inherited my music abilities from him. It was so cool to make this CD because I could really sift through songs and pick the ones that I could hear him playing along to in my head. I used to sit in the basement and just watch and listen to him play the drums to various music. This particular CD that I made is comprised mainly of classic rock and soul music.

The second CD is a bit different-- this CD is comprised of the songs that I have been listening to constantly for the last month or so. These are songs I connect deeply with. They are all connected to my father in some way in that they remind me of him, showed up in a dream with him in it, or just evoke a certain feeling in me that helps me to connect with him or my feelings about the situation. This CD is comprised mostly of singer-songwriter music (Leonard Cohen, Simon & Garfunkel, Nike Drake, Nico, Bob Dylan, etc), and three or four songs by my favorite artist-- Van Morrison.

I have made T CDs before. I do this to provide him with a better understanding of me, through one of the art forms that is most important to me. In return, he has made me CDs that he believes, personally connect with me. One time he copied a Schubert piece for me (a string quartet piece, divided into four movements) that reminded him of my personality. It is so awesome that he is receptive to getting to know me, not just by talking, but through my art, poetry, and music.

I am looking forward to giving him these CDs-- in less than 12 hours.