Sounds like you're having a triggered reaction to your Mom's behavior-I have reactions to things people do or say. People that don't know anything about me or my past. That's how triggers work. It also sounds to me like you're being asked to be the parent to your parent whether it's a conscious thing or not on your Mom's part. Her refusal to not help herself is not your problem-they're her overblown reactions&if she really cared she'd do something about it-not blame you&how you are. You are how you are&you're trying to work things out-this may be a lifelong thing-working things out&some people just refuse to acknowledge that. Her expecting you to know to come help her clean up after she dropped a wine bottle was wrong-you're not a mind reader. She knows her behavior makes you hurt&she's promising not to do it again sounds like it may be similar to how your ex treated you. She knows what kind of shape you're in&blaming you for her behavior is wrong. Do you blame her for how you feel when she hasn't blown up at you? I know it's stressful to live with someone who's ill, but that's no excuse to use them as an excuse for bad behavior on their part. If she can't handle having you with her or with some behavior you have-she should voice it without yelling or throwing things-she needs to help herself. We're all trying to help ourselves, that's why we're here. Try to be empathetic, but don't let her use you as an excuse for bad behavior-her inability to deal with something is her issue&she needs to help herself-you can't do it for her&she shouldn't expect you to. I'm not saying she's a bad person, I know she's trying to help you&keep you safe&that's great-its more than my family or friends are willing to do for me-just tell her "Look, it seems like you're having trouble dealing with things, why don't you go to your t&see if your t has some less troublesome solutions on how to deal with however you're feeling?" Don't let this go-it will just get worse if you don't speak up even though it's probably very hard to. Sounds like at least you can talk to your Mom&that's a good start.