You don't have to be suicidal to be depressed. In fact, it's best to catch it while it's still at this point before things get out of control.

Sometimes I do think I use a mild depression as an "excuse" to lay around and sit on my *** all day. But then, is that an excuse, or just how our body is making us feel?

Hang in there.

Welcome to Psychcentral, I hope you find some good resources here.