When I was in the hospital this summer (after 3 suicide attempts in 2 months...) I read the book called the Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide. It has a full chapter on suicide, and suicide prevention. It has a huge long lists of reasons to live. I checked a lot of those reasons.

I did finally wake up and realize I couldn't do this to my family. I have a 3 year old daughter. I love her more than anything. In my irrational state, I thought she would be better off without me, I was a bad mother, etc. But now that I am thinking more clearly, I can't even bear to think what it would have done to her if I was successful.

Anyway - I have a whole lot of other reasons to live, but I can't remember! They're all written down at home, I read it every now & then.

On the Lamictal front - my psych nurse increased the dose up to 500mg!! She said it's been given up to 800mg!! So if it's not working, maybe you need a dose increase. Or another medication on top of it. I'm currently on Lamictal (400mg), Lithium (1200mg), and Zyprexa (2.5 mg, weaning off next week - I was on 10-20 mg at some points)