thanks for that - I have convinced myself of that too, it took a long time - sometimes it still bothers me but mostly i am ok with it... mostly - so thanks and he is a very experienced T so Im sure he would have been able to deal with it - he asked me what type of cancer my dad had a couple of times but it was more in an interested way than any other way - I was just feeling lost and alone and so took it too much to heart i think - eek! I have a heart! I think not!!! Lol