Just my experience...
random thoughts thrown in also

If your friend went to one and knew everybody there, they most likely would know you right?--why would that present a problem? if you drive the 80 miles and people you know are there--why is that a problem?
They would be there for the same reason--getting clean and sober. Period. No Judgment. No gossip. Respecting confidentially.
***Willing to help in whatever they can***

Your sinus infection may be causing some of those symptoms. Any antibiotic you may be taking can be contributing also.
Combo of those two, and the chance there was some with drawl--you must have felt like hell.

Morphine to "cheer" you up? I'm glad it didn't kill you...
Does your husband use also? I don't want to make assumptions about it.

Sled Chick, I'm a blunt person. I do not intent to hurt anyone when I speak my mind. However, it has been known to royally piss people off.

Of course it's your decision not to attend meetings. There are people who do not and have managed to get clean and sober and stay that way one day at a time.
If this is what you are going to do, I respect your decision.

I would suggest, though, that you allow your physician to be a part of you stopping...most times, withdrawal from hard drugs are going to cause horrendous symptoms and may be dangerous. Medical intervention may be necessary...

I'm sharing my experience with you...my own detox was inpatient and it was the worst thing I ever went through...
Vomiting, uncontrollable diarrhea, chills, sweats, and hallucinations. For Four Frigging Days. An additional week for me to walk without the aid of someone.

Ya know what? It was worse than that before I went into detox. Think it can't happen to you? It doesn't take much to cross that line of "controlled use." Oh it may take weeks/months/few years...but it catches up with you.

Meetings? I am a (retired) psychiatric nurse. My first meeting when I was somewhat lucid, I looked into the faces of two fellow nurses, one psychiatrist, and one gyno.
Professions are left at the door.
We are there to give each other support and encouragement...and sometimes that support may be a kick in the arse if I have stinking thinking.

I ask for you to please make careful plans if you are going to try it alone. It's not funny. It's not fun.
It is life saving.
Life changing, and changes for the good.
It hurts and it stinks the first few months. So be it. I was ridding my body and soul of poison.

What I hear in your post is a desire to get better, and it feels overwhelming among other things. Perhaps some fear?
If you've come far enough to admit there's a problem, then do something about it...
Life is incredibly and deliciously fun when your mind isn't freaked out by drugs/alcohol and your body isn't ravaged by the same things.
I do not miss the soul sickness.
I do not miss the frantic feelings of making sure where my next high was coming from...

My very best wishes in whatever you decide to do, Sled Chick.
I sincerely believe you and your husband are being offered a second chance at life.
Cap