Thank you guys... but I'm doing worse. If yesterday was "not well" today is nuclear devastation.

I can't function, nightmares, vivid and horrible nightmares, I had a nightmare that someone had ripped off my dog's tail and I picked it up and he was crying and I had to carry both halves of him to the vet. Nightmare that my father was covered in blood with horrible open wounds. Nightmares every time I closed my eyes...

As for the help, I've been getting assistance and they are tapped out. I don't fall into the category of need. My needs were too much for them to handle. I live in a 1400 sq ft home so my heating/power bills were 2x as much as they could pay and my rent was about 4x what they normally can cover.

I don't have children so I don't qualify for family assistance either... and that's fine, I know other people need it more. I don't have any bad feelings about them... I am, however, furious with my state's employment security commission. I have been out of work through no fault of my own since April. I have sent out 200 resumes (more probably) and been on dozens of interviews. The only offers I get are out of this area and I have no money to move or even buy a tire to leave this small area.

I have spent countless cell phone minutes and gas money to try and get my claim settled but they keep "losing" the paperwork by their own admission. I'm sick to my stomach. I am angry. It would have been fine if tehy turned me down in the beginning but I've heard NOTHING at all ... and there's no one to even complain to...

So, I'm lying here completely paralyzed with fear... completely. Not sure how to move... I only have 48 more hours of power (the past due is 279 so even if people did have funds left, they couldn't cover it all)... I can't breathe, this sucks

thanks for letting me vent