we don't hate you... I don't hate you... we love our friend.

you're hurting and have had very few hours of sleep for a long time now... sleeping on the couch getting no proper sleep... The more tired you get the more the head will tell you to do things that aren't so good. Your brain is tired and the solution of taking more pills seemed like a good idea then to numb it all out and get the long awaited sleep. It's not good and it's dangerous taking too many pills... as you of course know. The good thing is that you do know and you're even letting us know. You know it's a thing you shouldn't have done and that is the first step towards finding a way not doing it again. Please let your T know about this so she can guide you.

The bottles haunting your eyes... can they be put in a cupboard for you not to see them? I really wish your hubby could see the need of getting it all out of the house... but I know... no point dwelling over that...
You remember the "good - words - about - Mandy" you have in that jar? Maybe you could keep that nearby and pick up one of the pieces of paper and read the encouraging words immediatly as you can feel the urges coming?
I know you can do this! You've done so much progress over the last couple of months. I'm proud of you, my friend! I have faith in you!