Quote:
Originally Posted by TheJewelsofEagles
Donna,
I KNOW exactly how you feel right now. There have been times that I played the music so loud it bothered the neighbors, but I didn't turn it down, and I hurt so bad that everyone was scared I was going to hurt them, and they ran away and hid anywhere they could. I ranted, and raved, and threw hissy fits  and even self-harmed until I was exhausted. It felt good, but I wasn't being very nice to everyone else, and in the end I ended up with some pretty scared kids and adults in our system. I now have some coping techniques that help me so I don't self-harm, and everyone is much happier inside. I still get really really REALLY angry and throw things and cuss and yell and play bad music very loud, but now I can CHOOSE to do it, I don't HAVE to do it. Some of the things I do is find the hugest pillow in the house, get my tennis racket, and beat the HELL out of the pillow, until my arms hurt and I can't breathe anymore. I also get ice out of the freezer and squeeze it in my hands until it melts really quickly. If that doesn't work, I scream and scream and scream into the pillow that I just beat the hell out of, and then I can't scream no more because my voice is hoarse and sore. What it all boils down to is that I CHOOSE to do healthier things so that everybody is comfortable and we aren't hurt so bad. If you want, you can email me or pm me. I can always come and talk. Just know you are understood more than you think. LEAH
|
LEAH
YOU SOUND SO WISE AND CLEVER AND THE THINGS THAT YOU DO SOUNDS COOL TO I JUST WANTS THEM NOT TO BE SCARED OF ME BUT THE MORE I TRY TO DO THINGS THE WORST THEY ARE SCARED .
mANDY WANTED US TO MAKE A BIG ROOM SO WE COULD HELP EACH OTHER AND I TRIED REALLY DID AND WAITED FOR THEM TO COME HELP ME BUT THEY DIDNT COME SO I PUT ON SOME MUSIC THOUGHT THEY MIGHT LIKE IT BUT THEY DIDNT COME AND THEY HIDE AWAY AND NO WE IS ON OUR OWN AGAIN AND HAS NO FRIENDS CUS IT AINT ALLOWED AND WE HURTS SO BAD AND WE JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND SCREAM TIL WE NOT SCREAM NO MORE
AND THEY ALL NOT LIKE AND WE LKNOW WE BAD AND WE KNOW THEY SCARED BUT STILL NO ONE COME AND STILL WE JUST SIT AND HURT SELF TOO BUT THAT NOT HELPS US KNOW . WE ALL HATES CHRISTMAS TIME BUT SHE DONT KNOW WHY WE ALL SCARED WE ALL NEED IT TO BE GONE WE DONT WANT TO BE BIG AS BIG MEANS MORE AND MORE HURTS
L WOULD LIKE TO PM YOU BUT I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS OK AND I DONT WANT NO MORE TROUBLWE IT SEEMS ALL I DO IS WRONG AND SHE PROBABLY WONT LIKE THAT I DID THIS AS I PROMISED I WOULDNT COME OUT HERE BUT I CANT WAIT NO MORE LEAH I REALLY CANT WE IS JUST SO DESPARATE AND MAD THINGS IS VERY BADS JUST NOW
SORRY DONNA
__________________
"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish....
few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"