Thanks for this, kim_johnson. It did help.

No reply yet, but I know that's just because she hasn't checked her email (she doesn't do it as often on the weekend). I'm more concerned about what she will say when she does reply. If she ultimately refuses to say what I want/need her to, then what's the point of continuing? So that I can feel bad and rejected all the time? Doesn't it make more sense to move on and stop putting so much energy into a relationship that is ultimately going to be unfulfilling?

sometimes I think T's dont realise what we are saying - I look back at emails I sent my work T and his replies and somtimes he doesnt even answer my questions fully but goes off on a tangent obviously of what that question meant to him - ( he doesnt work the days I do so this is my main form of communication) yet the times I have seen him (very few) he has understood and replied with some helpful insights/info (somtimes) so maybe some people are just bad at emails and better in person? and when I re-read my emails i somtimes see that I have not really said what i need to for fear of.... well lots of things.

Isn't that kind of the whole point of this kind of therapy, to make you aware of your needs/wants by having them come up in the therapy relationship, and then mourn the fact that they will never be able to be met, which is somehow supposed to be freeing? Well, if that's the case, fine, I've got it, they will never be met, and I don't see any point in continuing and feeling bad for any longer than necessary. I should put my energy into more productive places in my life, rather than just banging my head into the wall over and over. Sigh.