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Originally Posted by notme9
I'm more concerned about what she will say when she does reply. If she ultimately refuses to say what I want/need her to, then what's the point of continuing?
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In your email, did you tell her what you want/need from her? One thing I've learned in therapy is that if you need something, you may have to ask, otherwise the other person doesn't know. I hope you let your T know what you needed so that she has a chance to respond as you hope.
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Doesn't it make more sense to move on and stop putting so much energy into a relationship that is ultimately going to be unfulfilling?
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My own therapy relationship is very fulfilling. The therapy relationship is not by definition unfulfilling. If you do continue with your T, I hope you can work towards greater fulfillment.
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Isn't that kind of the whole point of this kind of therapy, to make you aware of your needs/wants by having them come up in the therapy relationship
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Yes, I think that is one thing we can get out of therapy.
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and then mourn the fact that they will never be able to be met, which is somehow supposed to be freeing?
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I don't agree with this part. I have never heard that before. (You refer to "this kind of therapy"--what kind are you in?) This has not happened to me with either of the therapists I've been with. I'm not saying that if it happens to you, it is not worthwhile, as you seem to be taking something from it. But I don't think it is the rule that this happens in therapeutic relationships. I think sometimes clients who don't feel their needs are being met abandon the therapeutic relationship. I know all therapists have those clients who just "never come back" and they may never know why.
notme9, if you do see your therapist again, do you think it might be helpful to talk with her about therapeutic relationships--what they can provide and can't provide, typical things that may come up or happen, etc.? Of course, everyone is different, but I do think there are some commonalities too. (Was it your T who told you that she can never meet your needs, you need to mourn this, and it will be freeing?)
I am hoping you get the reply you need SOON.
