Just a release here, please be tolerant of my rant.

My daughter 21yrs. was married back in March after being with him for 4 yrs. In June, I found him hanging from a tree...... Suicide. Things are so damn confusing and I don't think things are going very well.

My daughter has understandably changed but in awful, awful ways. She has become very manipulative, lies about just about everything and has become totally irresponsible in everything she does. She blames me because I was the last to see him, she blames me because I found him and she blames me because I wouldn't tell her where we were when I found him (The police said not to). She blames me because I advised her not to get married because neither was ready, now she blames me for everything in her life even though she made the choices. Finding a young adult hanging from a tree brings about issues in it's own right, thankfully I had already begun seeing a Doctor to deal with life long issues.

Sorry, anyway, the Holidays. My daughter moved to another state in October (to find herself) but by November she had already moved in with another guy. Thanksgiving was the first EVER Holiday I had been alone, no phone calls, emails, etc. It was rough, I resorted to things I had never done and am not proud to admit. But they got me through and I feel I have no choice but to resort back to what "worked". I don't want to start a habit. How do you deal with ALONE. I have no friends and other than my DR. and the grocery I have no contact with other people.
Thanks for listening.