N, I think that's a really good answer of yours, and I agree with all the points you raise. So that doesn't leave me with much else to say... lol. I especially agree with what you say in your last sentence ... "healing must come from self alone... for self alone". That's a perceptive comment, and I so agree with it. But like you say... for unintentional abuse, one could always doubt that it happened... and would never get validity for it either. It would make healing, even for self, harder...