ohh all you kind people,

i am feeling pretty much beyond hope. my boyfriend is getting depressed too. he is trying to find help for me because all i get from the psych nurse is just talking about my feelings and her not even writing anything down, and the pdoc just ups my med dosage that doesn't work at all. it hasn't worked at all in the past, but she put me on it because it didn't have any side-effects. then i asked what if they don't work? she said then they'll put more meds into the mix.

the kids inside are scared. as am i, and "sitara", our protector is intending to walk up to the psych nurse and tell her off.

not going to the hospital. i told the psych nurse that i would just lie that i'm doing fine so i'd get out asap.

well.. i'm not feeling anxious today, maybe it's because of the benzos i took yesterday. but if i tell them that i take benzos to relieve the pain they will think i'm a junkie and will never put me into psychotherapy.

i don't know what to do... my boyfriend gave me a number where you can call if you're not being treated right, i think i'll give her a call.

twilight