this is to my post:

Should i tell him? mixed signals confuse me...
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=85526

ive just found out he totally played me. i hate what i did to find out. it was sneaky. i feel bad for doing it. he goes on a dating site (thats where we met) and i made up 2 fake profiles and contacted him. To one he said he's just looking for hook ups. To the other he wants a relationship.

i feel terrible and so low that its brought me to that level. to do that. someone mentioned it to me...to create fake one to check. that never crossed my mind before. i feel so low for doing that, its wrong - yet he is the one who played me!!!

he said so much, i believed it all. i let him be my first. i trusted him. i feel sick. i'd been feeling like he was just using me for so long, my gut feeling was right. if he wasn't my first, i wouldn't probabyl feel this way, but coz he is, and HE KNEW i never had. im in total shock that he could be that cruel. he took advantage i was so naieve. the first guy to show any interest in me at all...

I asked him flat out if he was just lookin for sex and he said NO!!!!!!

i never let people close to me before, had a few issues trusting people due to past things... and he's made than 1000 time worse.

how can i trust men after this? my first encounter with a man and he does this? i feel destroyed. i can't go on any more.


how can i move on from this? i feel used, hurt, betrayed, played....

he hasn't contacted me. He owes me money. Even tho with this i still think he'll pay. he mentioned that he'll pay me back in lump sums just on saturday.

Do i say anything if i see him? he probably wouldnt care, but why use a chick that never had a boyfriend like this?u gonna screw her up for life! if u were just wanting sex, u lead me on totally. how do u expect me to feel? ive been haunted since that day we first had sex. it scared the crap out of me (not the sex - the way it happened) if he wanted just sex, why bother with a virgin? Seriouslly? he knew i was? he just wanted to score a virgin! i fell for everything. i had no experience i was so f**king stupid and naieve....

and to make things worse this pass month, i haven't been well, i really thought i was pregant. turns out im not... but seriouslly, i was scared ****. he has no idea. Obvosuly i dont want to be with him now - but do i tell him that? if he thinks ive been acting "odd' thats why buddy. i thought i was ****ing knocked up and **** scared. he tells me he has a lot going on - bull ****, he's been screwing other girls. i think im going to have to go to the doctors and get checked for stds. i feel dirty.

i feel its too much......

and yet here i was, always giving him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he's great, lending him money, was going to wish the bastard a merry christmas. He tells me the other day, "i still smile at ur photos" and "i think your awesome. ive never met any one like you" all f**king lies. my trust is so broken. egh.

i know i might come across as being dramatic but i feel so ill......