I'm exhausted.. Past few days have been so, so boring and tiresome and.. Depressing and I'm just so tired of it all.. I didn't sleep well at all last night.. Woke up at about 7 this morning, went back to sleep. Or at least-I attempted to.. I'm so weak, so hungry but unableto eat, so lost.. And I just feel like my whole world is being torn up.

I've panicked this morning because I can't find one of the vital christmas presents that I need to find and I have no way of getting hold of Connor to find out where the hell he's put the damned thing. Why do men always expect us women to be bloody super women?! I have a crumble to make and some curry to make too.. If I feel like eating it that is.. The crumble isn't for me, thankfully.. I did a practise run yesterday, which wasn't too bad.

My throat, chest and nose are so sore.. Stupid, stupid cold weather giving me flu and such.. That's why I feel so run down and tired I suppose.. But also being scared that someone's going to somehow get into my room doesn't help. There's been a guy around here, who's been climbing in peoples windows and taking stuff, then going to see his girlfriend who lives here. It makes me sick. That's part of the reason why i can't sleep. The other is because my mind is always working overtime at night.. Grrrr!!

I'm so fed up! I'm constantly watching my back wherever I go, constantly looking over my shoulder, feeling panicked whenever it starts to get dark.. It's horrible.. I think I saw the rapist the other night.. When I was with a friend, going to our friend's flat. I got so panicked that he'd seen me and was going to stop and beat me up or something.. I've still been getting crap from Charlene and Sam, but they've now started getting people that don't even know me involved, other people from here and more people that don't even know me.. It's really getting on my nerves.. Then as soon as they see me face to face (after typing crap all over my homepage), they're all nice and two-f*cking-faced!!! It really does rile me up! (In case you hadn't noticed..) The christmas party was supposed to be enjoyable but no, they made it a living hell for me..