Quote:
Originally Posted by be_be
this is to my post:
Should i tell him? mixed signals confuse me...
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=85526
ive just found out he totally played me. i hate what i did to find out. it was sneaky. i feel bad for doing it. he goes on a dating site (thats where we met) and i made up 2 fake profiles and contacted him. To one he said he's just looking for hook ups. To the other he wants a relationship.
i feel terrible and so low that its brought me to that level.
he said so much, i believed it all. i let him be my first. i trusted him. i feel sick.
I asked him flat out if he was just lookin for sex and he said NO!!!!!!
i never let people close to me before, had a few issues trusting people due to past things... and he's made than 1000 time worse.
how can i trust men after this? my first encounter with a man and he does this? i feel destroyed. i can't go on any more.
i fell for everything. i had no experience i was so f**king stupid and naieve....
and yet here i was, always giving him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he's great, lending him money, was going to wish the bastard a merry christmas. He tells me the other day, "i still smile at ur photos" and "i think your awesome. ive never met any one like you" all f**king lies. my trust is so broken. egh.  
i know i might come across as being dramatic but i feel so ill...... |
Hi Be_be.
There are not enough hugs I can give you right now.
Don't feel bad about your checking on line. You followed an inkling and it turned out to be true . I have read many stories of women unfortunately married who have discovered this about thier husbands . Life is precarious in the love areana. Got to learn to be a bull rider.
There is another way to look at this. Did he ever make a commitment to you? Doesn't sound like it. It sounds like a friendship with benifits.
He may have joined this dating site after mentioning he wanted space. So hes not really accountable to you to not be out there looking as hurtful as that is for you .
He is accountable if hes having sex with you and the agreement is its exclusive till your relationship is ending.
You are not the first nor will you be the last woman or man who has experienced this. My first hit me cheated on me . I left him. he went bonkers broke into my apartment . He cried then hugged me then hit me.
Later ,after I took off to Florida for a vaction, he managed to throw my cat up against the house and kill it. Iwas 18 to 20 when this happened.
There are NO guarentees in life period . The only one you have is how you decide to live your life the choice you make when the tides turn. or is it the waves. You sound like you make commitments and are sincere .
I'm not sure if you knew this man a long time as friends before you became more serious. If not thats a good thing to do as hard as it may be.
There are men out there you can trust.
They will want to get to know you first spend plenty of time with you first . Yo u may have to put that in place. Ahh . wait . YOU will have to set those parameters..(Huge winking smile) They will be willling and able to discuss the "what if things don't work out first" so you won't feel abused or used.
Note I haven't experienced the above yet. But it would be in place if there is a next time.
My relationship vite would make your head spin . I was a walking victium only that was put in place long ago.
Get your money back . Have him mail it.
Don't say anything about what you have found out it will make things worse.
walk away quietly and with grace.
And close the door and don't let him back in even as a freind for now.
Change your email adress
don't answer your phone .
Maybe later on when you've ridden a few more rodeos, you'll beable to have relational glitches and still remain friends . But being your first its so confusing and painful .I know.
It will be hard but I promise you if you do this you will be grateful you did .
Keep writting here keep swearing here. And don't use "its my first" trump card in this game of hearts.
fold and start a new one . And ace will turn up.
Patricia