hi guys.

i'm still new here, and not really sure where to post. i thought i could post here because my question relates specifically to BPD, but i'm worried i might offend someone in the process and that is definitely *not* my intention.

if anyone thinks this post is inappropriate or just upsetting, please pm me, or any mod, and ask for it to be removed. as i said, the last thing i want to do is offend anyone.

on to my question (which appropriate trigger warnings):...

***
about 2 years ago i was sexually assaulted by a guy i met at a party. at first, he was really intense and we just struck it off *so well*, and as i was out of town, he offered me his place to crash for the night. we both discussed that there would def not be any fooling around/sex, it was just an offer of his spare bed to save me from trying to travel back to my place 2 hours away.
on the way back to his place we talked a bit about mental illness stuff. he told me he had bpd, and what meds he was on, and i told him about my depression, and what meds i was on. i didnt know much about bpd at the time (still dont) so he told me that sometimes he would think of people in terms of 'good' or 'bad', and also that 'sex was his way of dealing with things'.
anyway - long story short - we got back to his place, one thing led to another, and i started worrying that things might get out of my control, so i asked him to stop what we were doing (just kissing) and for me to go to bed in the spare room. he was ok with this, and so we said good night.
in the morning we just talked for ages and ages. kissed a bit more etc. then he went to the bathroom and when he came back, he had kind of changed? he told me i was a bad person, and that i had been manipulative, and that if i didnt want to have sex with him i should never have come back to his place. he then proceeded to hurt me.

so, my question is: do you think this was in any way linked to his BPD? do you think that if he didnt have BPD that it might not have happened? or do you think the two things are completely unrelated?

i'm confused, because i'm usually very cautious with people, but we had hit it off so well, and just connected and stuff, and i just never saw this coming. i'm finding it hard to believe that he is a 'bad person', it's almost like i'm scapegoating his illness so i can believe he is still good?

for the record, i was abused as a kid also, and had a very love/hate relationship there, so maybe this has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me just repeating earlier situations. maybe it's my fault it happened, even if it was only inadvertent.
/end trigger*****

again, i'm really sorry if my question is offensive or triggering to anyone here. i'm also sorry it's so long. thank you so much to anyone who read this far, let alone gives me the time to respond.