((((((((((((((((((((vienna)))))))))))))))))))))

I've had that sort of experience....I've e-mailed things to T that I couldn't say, and then before I knew it, the next session would roll around and I'd have to face him.

Sometimes I have told T, "I don't want to talk about what I wrote yet". Sometimes, we'll talk about it a little bit and then I'll tell him "I can't talk about this anymore" and we'll stop. You can be in charge of how much or how little you say.

Maybe a good place to start would be just telling him what you wrote in this post? That you wanted to tell him what was in the letter but you were scared to say it, and now you feel anxious because you've never talked about it before, and you are not even sure what to say. There have been many, MANY times in my therapy when talking about being too scared to talk have opened up a path where I actually CAN talk eventually.

Don't feel like you have to rush yourself....sometimes I will say literally one sentence about something - something as small as "he was wearing red" or whatever - and that's all we can do for that day, and we talk about other things. And it's okay.

(((((((((((((((((vienna)))))))))))))) Breathe, and be gentle with yourself. Let us know how it goes.