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I hear your pain and confusion. It's not easy to be your age, not easy at all. I'll not give advice since I'm old enough to be your grandmother but I will encourage you to keep discovering who you are.
I have learned that who I am doesn't depend on who likes or dislikes me. For years I tried to be what I thought others wanted me to be. It just doesn't work. If you become the best YOU you can be then some people will appreciate and value that and those will be your real friends. There's an old cliche but it's true nevertheless, " to have a friend we must be a friend" and that involves not getting too self focused. When we obsess about our stuff too much we shut out others.
Perhaps you will connect with some folks here and it will help you, I hope so. I know how much it hurts to feel unwanted.
I'm glad you came here and shared. So many will read your words and truly understand.
Judy
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However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole.
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