Don't know how to start this, I don't feel comfortable talking about this with friends or family, so maybe I feel more comfortable getting the opinion of unbiased strangers...

Will try not to write a novel, but I was in a relationship for three years that ended in february. My first real girlfriend you could say, I had just lost abunch of weight and got a girl, it was refreshing... I literally put everything I had into the relationship, I grew up in a loving family so I put that love on to her and did almost anything and everything... Vacations, Hospital Visits, Restaurants, Road Trips, did almost anything she asked and never thought twice about it. Gifts for every holiday or occaion, wrote her love letters, I really put it on top shelf, she had sex issues in general from an ex, so I took her to a therapist and worked out it out the best I could. I was getting paid $10 bucks an hour and paying weekly 100 doctor visits for that. She would often get ill because she was a hypercondriac and had a sensitive stomach and I spent constant hours with her in the ER... But I had one issue with her I didn't trust her, I would find her text messaging guys, found her talking to guys or whatever on her mypace, she would go with her friends to hang out with dudes and not tell me about it, she'd give out her phone number... I really felt like I let her walk all over me. She was messed up though, she came up from a bad upbringing, family deaths, abuse, etc, just in general not a good upbringing or good past experiences with men. I did EVERYTHING I could to prove otherwise... She does take anti depressant pills etc,.

Then I'm at work one day she calls me and says she wants to break up with me. We go on and I am upset, about a week later she told me that while she was on a business trip (while we were still together a month earlier) she got drunk and went into a hotel room with a guy. She says she just made out with him and that was it but felt guilty and wanted to break up... I also found out later the night before she broke up with me she was at a friends house and got drunk and a guy performed oral on her... She banged him a week later. If you knew the struggles I went through with her sex issues, then she bangs a random loser, it literally killed me to hear that.

Coming from my upbringing in a very close family, me being very close to her, this was especially truamatizing to me. I did the things I suppost to do, I lost some weight and toned up, I went out a lot, I had a few girls of my own, went to europe... Blah blah blah... But still i'm very very hurt from this and upset and always ask myself why did this have to happen?

Anyways, time did start to heal the wounds and was starting to feel good, about a month ago she starts texting me again. Admitting how badly she screwed up, how she is seeing a therapist to deal with her issues, how she wants me back and will be honest and true this time around... I had seen her a couple of times trying to feel things out and see what she's like, she seems genuine but you never know... I am really torn about this, it's killing me, i'm just hurt and f'd up as hell from her and what she did to me but I do miss her and we did have fun times together. I know the initial reaction is no as i'm sure most people will say, but I just want to hear an opinion, some advice, I don't know... I just don't wanna get hurt again,

She told me she stopped taking her pills when she cheated, and was surrounded by bad people and bad influences, blamed booze as well... She says she's removed those thigsn from her life... Says she's changed. I am literally torn and don't know what to do, I believe she is genuine in what she says, but I don't know if I can get over what happened...

Anything, anyone?