Don't let your family guilt trip you into doing something you don't want to do&can't afford to do. They should be thankful you call, etc. I think a lot of parents have a hard time realizing they have no business trying to exert the level of control they had over you when you were a kid now that you're an adult. So they guilt trip&manipulate you emotionally. If they're doing something that's making you uncomfortable&unhappy-don't do it! Just because you're family doesn't mean you "owe" them anything. How would you feel about this kind of behavior being directed at you&your spouse by someone who wasn't family? You probably wouldn't do anything you don't want to do&not feel bad about it. We're "socialized" to obey our parents every wish as a kid&it's hard to get away from that old unhappy making behavior as adults. If you're parents can't understand that you're your own person now-too bad for them. Don't let them blame you for their unhappiness with being unable to control you anymore. Do the holidays your way-be happy-we all deserve to be&especially at this time of year.