Inkblot, I know it sounds impossible right now, but you have to fight as hard as you can. The women's shelters here have legal advocates, so even if you can't get a lawyer you can get some advice. I wish I'd had someone telling me all this stuff four years ago. I had a bullying, emotionally abusive husband who threatened to leave me homeless with the kids one day and the next day would say if I left him without the kids that I'd never see them again. It's all BS. Don't fall for it, even though I can imagine how persuasive he must sound. I fell for it. Learn from my mistakes, OK?

Document the abusive emails so you can show them to someone who can do something about it. There must be some kind of restraining order that can be put in place regarding harrassing emails. If it's not information regarding the kids, you shouldn't have to be subjected to his :bs:

Four years later, and I'm finally dragging my ex back to court to right as many of the wrongs as I possibly can. It's hard, because he refuses to retract any of the BS demands he made me agree to back then, because then he would have to admit maybe he's not always right about everything after all. I go through periods of extreme anxiety, thinking maybe I should give up the fight and save myself the money and emotional pain, but I'm not fighting just for me. I'm fighting on behalf of my kids, too, so I can't back down. NOT THIS TIME!!

My heart goes out to you, not being able to see your kids for so long. I know no amount of hugs and kind words can ease that pain, but know that we're all here pulling for you.