hi - thank you all for replying. my session with T went well today, despite all my worrying! i did talk about what i wrote some. he didn't push it too much, just pointed out that now that i had talked about it it gives us the opportunity to work with how i see it and feel about it. i feel comfortable looking at it that way, so maybe this will be all right after all. i just want this pit in my stomach to go away. maybe this is the right way to do it? nothing else has worked...

thank you all again,
vienna