If I no longer enjoy life, talking to people, doing what I have to do and always question myself about what is purpose of my life, what I should do? Is it important to be just alive? There is no hard pain, but no motive to do anything. I am just alive.

I only enjoy doing things that makes me forget about my life and who I am, what I have to do. Like watching movies, TV shows and surfing internet, play computer minesweeper, solitaire the most boring games. I can do them for many hours. Every real things I do like study, work, talk to other people is not tasty and I hate them and I don't get any pleasure. I do them only because of my fear. I fear that I might not pass the class, I might loose my job and become poor, if I don't do this I may hurt or disappoint my parents, I might let my close people down, if I don't do this people would think of me as a loser. What will people say if I fail this project?

I just remember that when I was a child I did all of them with pleasure and doing these real life thing were very important and I did them happily.
So far I never talked to any professional therapist, I just once told to my sister and my bf when I was very depressed. They told me don't be selfish and don't hurt myself thinking bad things and take some rest. Well that time passed but I am still the same.
Will I ever become normal and lively? Is it just very big lazyness or mental illness? What should I do?