It has taken some time to open up and just type. I haven't found strength in what I have endured, I find it hard to get up in the morning and take my pills the way they were perscibed. I take care of my 93 yr old granny, the only human contact I have is with her, my dad, my mom, my dr (once a week) or my younger brother. I have lost intrest in everything that I used to. I don't see my kids in fear that they will somehow know and reject me. I talk to people online, but none of them come close to comming near where I live. I just can't see me as being "strong" after a few words. No matter how hard I try I just don't see it. Sorry.