Hey Hope,

I don't think you're selfish at all. You have finally found someone you can trust and opened up to him- he's helped you see so many things. Maybe you're just "feeling" so much that your not used to feeling, if you were like me- I used to shut feeling out until I started with my current T. Lately, I think I'm starting to feel some things.... I fear being vunerable admitting it though. I have major trust issues and have opened up for the first time to my current T.-- who I've been seeing for 1 year now-- he's my third therapist.

I think if I was in your place I would feel real similar--as it is, I conjure up ideas in my head that my T. is going to retire soon, or he's going to be too busy with lectures to see me. He's assured me many times that he is here to stay for a long time-- but I still find myself doubting-- so afraid to be abondened.

I hope your T. comes back real soon and his wife will be well. It must be so hard for you--- but you know-- you've taken a great step in reaching out here. I think you express how you're feeling very well--- I would like to get to that point! I'm sorry you're going through this... I know it's something that can't be helped... but that doesn't make it any easier.

Well, just wanted to let you know I'm here--- if you want to talk you can PM me anytime.

Wishing you well,

Mandy