Okay, so, I have a little bit of a different perspective on this. I'm 34 years old, never been married and no children. The longest intimate relationship I've been in lasted 2 years, twice. The rest, a few days, a few weeks or a few months. I've lived on my own for 15 years, supporting myself and doing everything for myself. No one around to take out the trash, no one to help out with the bills, no one around to eat dinner with or to cook for me for once. All the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, errands, car upkeep, laundry, everything...all up to me and me alone.

Now, I'm not complaining. I love my life, I love my home, I love my job and I love my indepence. I like knowing that I can take care of myself in every way there is to take care of oneself. Before I start sounding like I'm A-Sexual or something, allow me to clarify that much of the time I have had a boyfriend and I have one now.

My concern, when the time comes, I won't know HOW to give anything up, I won't know HOW to compromise, I won't know HOW to negotiate. Am I so set in my ways after so many years of being on my own that I won't be able to adjust to living with a man? What if he has kids? Yikes, that scares me the most.

I know what you're talking about Wants2Fly. I too at times put a man's desires before me own. I quit the degree I was going for to please the man I was with at the time who wanted me to come work for him. Needless to say that relationship didn't work out and I was left with a year of schooling that got me no where but in debt. I could give countless other examples of giving little pieces of myself away. But I do believe that now, I'm more capable of maintaining my identity than when I was in my 20's. I'm more cemented in my personality, likes, dislikes, needs, wants and desires. I believe that now I'm attracted to a man who doesn't expect me to compromise who I am, just compromise with the little things...what movie to go to, what's for dinner, what to watch on tv, which station to listen to on the radio, which friends come over or who were going to make plans with. I set my boundaries from the beginning. I'm a homebody, my house is sacred and my life evolves around my illness and maintaining the lifestyle I need in order to function in everyday life, especially work.

I think I may have fallen a little off track, but your posts brought all this to the forefront of my mind and I wanted to express myself. I hope I offered something helpful.

Want2, I find you to be an extremely thoughtful and thought provoking person. I enjoy your posts and seek them out. Keep it up. You have a fan.
TgrsPurr.