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Berries · Dec 25, 2008, 09:43 AM

In between therapy sessions, I talk to my therapist in my head. ALL THE TIME. He doesn't talk back (I'm not hearing voices), it's one sided. I never even imagine his responses.
I just explain stuff to him. An issue will come to my mind and I tell him about it (in my head). A lot of times this happens after "an actual Real life session", I'll worry I wasn't clear enough on a point and I’ll worry he got the wrong impression so I’ll re-explain it to him (in my head). I vary it each time to make it clearer, as if I am editing a letter to him. But I don't write it on paper, I write it, edit it, and re-edit it again and again, in my head OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again.
And I just can't shut up!!! I have to keep editing it. Keep explaining it and re-explaining it until it's perfect. But it's never perfect.
Then after the next session, I am struck again by something else I said or he said and again I worry that there is a misunderstanding and the whole process starts all over again.
I've spent sleepless nights doing this--4 to 5 hours on the same topic! I do it during the day too. I lose all track of time. I’ll look at the clock and say its 1:00. I’ll be obsessing about therapy and I look at the clock and it’s 2:00. And I have no idea where the time went. But still I can’t stop and so I’ll keep going. Then it’s 3:00…
I just can't stop!
And when I do manage to stop, sooner or later, I am reminded of something I said in last week’s therapy or I think of something new that I’d like to talk about in the next session and it all starts over again and again….
Does anyone else do this?