I want to reply to this, but don't want to go triggering anyone or threadjacking.

I gave away bits of myself too. Usually it was for the sake of "the couple" As in "We're going to see some people who could become business associates and make us a lot of money, act *this* way." or "sex isn't as spontaneous as it used to be, I bought "us" some toys and videos to get you in the mood." or "we've spent enough time living near your family, now we're going to move closer to mine." (coming right after I got a job promotion, and his family lived 3 hours away). And then after a good 15 years of being told what to do and how to do it, I'd had enough. Then it was "don't do this to us."

Ugh!

Now he's on his second "serious" relationship in four years. His first engagement crumbled and now he's living with a woman he couldn't even stand when he first got to know her, and I'm left wondering what's wrong with me because I've taken time to try and work on me before trying to involve someone else, while women thinks this guy is so perfect and flock at his feet. It leaves me wondering how many years it will take before they're telling "my" story in a place like this - the "if it weren't for me rescuing you, you'd still be nothing." Before I married him, I was vibrant and, while not extremely self confident, was able to overlook my insignificant faults and enjoy myself in public at least. Now I'm afraid everyone is picking me apart in their mind, running down a mental check list of things they'd fix.