silver,

I had no idea you had so much going on that you are not able to talk about IRL. I am so sad reading this thinking of how much pressure you're putting yourself under by keeping all this quiet. Please continue using methods of coping that are not harmful. You've come so far!!

Based on what you've been writing about perhaps it is time for a med. evaluation for antidepressants.

How often is your counselling? Is she/he helpful to you?

Honey, I'm rather without words to say. I wish I could change things for you. I wish I could bop your pop on the head and knock some sense into him. Siiiiiiiiiigh.

(((silver_queen))) don't worry about the future or invite those future worries into your thinking. For now if it feels like things are falling apart and not working anymore then slow it down, take a breath and let out some of what's inside.

You've already done that with your above post.

take care sweetie