Silver, Sky, Emily and Faver, thank you for your kindness. It is amazing what words of love can do. Em, I looked up your site and I guess I would like you to p.m. me to to tell me more of what you are thinking. I want to understand and be sure I am giving you the correct info. I am hurting in my heart in a way that reaches the PTSD big time and I am trying to react from a now place. Just because someone is angry with me I am not bad. However, I am in danger so that confuses me. Man, I feel like the past 20 years of my life have been like the first 20, reaking havvock on me. I had a few years as a reprieve huh? I need direct guidance. Okay to be bossy to me right now. I am lost and confused. I am angry and scared. I am alive.