CSC, maybe you can grow and heal to the point where your mom can't affect you? You know, get to the point where you can see her lips moving but you can't hear her put downs. She had power over you before but now she really doesn't. She is just a woman who has some issues that's all. Take back your power (and no one cooperates with you on this. You don't get their permission. You just do it no matter what consequences they try to dish out).