Thank you, Echoes, and Free2,
Yeah, I've really wallowed in it...self-pity and feelings of rejection. I know this, and will just have to work on it, as I have done in the past during other episodes.
I don't feel like talking to my sister. She would turn this around on me as being all my imagination and fault. It is not, and I really WAS enthusiastic about exchanging gifts and seeing her family, only to be treated as an annoyance.
I have to add here, that feeling this way makes me ill. It's not so bad today, and I'm glad this Christmas is over.
I'm having a lot of flashbacks to my childhood history. My sister, though she was two years younger, was much stronger physically than I. We fought a lot, and she beat me up regularly. If I tried to defend myself, I was punished. I know....wallow, wallow, but this mindset of always being the one at fault doesn't set well with me right now.
Patty